Eternal Return

Oct 18, 2019

"Eternal Return", 2019, oil on linen, 65x81cm

In early summer Carmina and I went camping in Torrent de Colobrers, near Sabadell. Our plan was to take the tent and some gear and food for a picnic and just go to nature and get away from the city for awhile. I brought my easle along and did some plein air painting while we were there.

 “The River of the Water of Life”

We pitched our tent near this river. It was very soothing to hear only the sound of the river at night along with the forest murmurs, the trees and a few birds. When we got up in the morning we made breakfast and coffee and went for a walk along the river. We found a cave which is depicted in the background of the painting.
Being near a river or painting one or simply seeing one depicted in art causes me to think about flow, the flow of life, the flow of energy that runs through all things. I think about how we are all just bundles of energy as is  everything else. When I paint, I can really connect with this energy, this life force, which flows through all things. Even though I try to fix it in a painting it is always changing, and so are we. For a long time that was very difficult for me to accept personally. I wanted something more permanent, more lasting. But now, through my spiritual practice I am learning to accept the impermanence of everything. As the Buddha said, “Everything that has the nature to arise will also pass away”. Sitting next to this river, I can watch it for hours. The water flows on by. And then more than watching it, painting it, I identify even more. This water is like the life force flowing through us. The banks of the river containing it as our bodies.

“Eternal Return”

 Painting, and even more, just being there on that day alongside my beloved Carmina was a few minutes of heaven for us to share. We all know that these moments don´t last forever, they are impermanent. However, we are able to preserve them in our memories, collective, individual, in the stories we tell each other, and in our art. But then these things too are in the end impermanent. Finally we must accept the fact that we will lose everything sooner or later, it seems that nothings lasts. Almost nothing. For I think that there is love and there is this energy flowing through all things and they are eternal, so I believe. And maybe they are not two seperate things but actually one and the same thing. The water flows forth from its source, like this cave in the painting, the origin. We too flow forth from the dark cavernous womb and are carried forth through life and eventually back. To end is to begin again. And again. And again. 

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